Today marks the day where I officially continue my journey. 77 days ago was a great high and a great low for me. 77 days ago was one of the best days of my life, it was my 29th Birthday. As mentioned in a previouse post, it was the best birthday because of the people i got to spend it with and the moments we shared that i wouldn’t trade it for the world. But, it was also the first day where i stepped away from Keto and my diet all together.
Over the last 77 days i had a roller coaster of emotions and events that were both good and bad for me both personally and physically. I’ve shared the events is some previous post, so i don’t see the need to repeat them, but i will be honest about a couple of things.
First, why i stopped posting about my journey. I didn’t stop cause i wanted to take a break from it cause i felt overwhelmed with all the things going on in my life. The truth is, I love these post and i wish i was able to more of them and talk about more of them. I just didn’t want to post cause I couldn’t accept the fact that I constantly failed myself over and over and over again with even caring.
over the last couple months I have drank so much pop, ate so much junk food, and so much non-keto meals that I just felt like it’s pointless to post about cause i just didn’t care about accountability anymore. I just did not care about dieting, happiness, positivity, or progress anymore. I cant even think of anything I actually did care about. I just wanted to be. Go to work, Come home. Go to work, come home. Go to work, come home. I had so much more happiness being 28 than i have at 29. I just didn’t want to care.
Secondly, podcasting. Podcasting was pretty similar to these post. It’s not that i was overwhelmed, it’s not that i couldn’t juggle it. I just wasn’t happy. I knew that i couldn’t put out a good show if my heart wasn’t in it 100%. it wouldn’t be fair to my co-hosts, and wouldn’t be fair to you all.
Side note, if anybody thinks this is related to my change in relationship status or the person i was with, I will remind you of this…. this is not a reflection on her in anyway. my attitude over the the “break i took” was a reflection on me. In fact, she still pushed me to be a better person and stick to what i’m doing even if she didn’t have to. She doesn’t owe me a damn thing and didn’t have to give a shit about me anymore, but she still did and that makes her a better person than even me.
All things considered, I need to take the good with the bad. Yes, i failed my diet miserably. But, luckily, i haven’t gain any weight in this time frame. So Monday I’m starting a new with an old attitude. I’m jumping back into Keto 100% and working on that final 50lbs before the end of the year.
I pretty cool though how the first meal i had that end my first round of dieting is my last meal i will have before i start my second round. I will miss you Hibachi…. we had some good times.
Time to focus on me again. Time to stop with the wishful thinking and the hope for happiness and perfection. Life only happens when you make it happen.
Accountability and Progress