This summer has been a massive road block in my journey. Between the loss of my grandfather, the stress of work, the headaches of adulthood, the hiatus of my podcasts, and the distance built between people i thought would always be close; my diet has been impacted in a negative way.
Over the first 5 months of my dieting, I committed 100% to what i had to do where i needed to be. And it was going amazing. I was happy with who i was for the first time in a long time. I woke up and was able to look into the mirror and be prod of who was looking back at me. The wasn’t a day i didn’t leave my house smiling knowing that the day will be better than the last. I never truly believed it until this year, but attitude is a HUGE part of dieting.
I was unfortunate that all that positivity went away in a moment. I lost my motivation to move forward in my journey and fell into an old familiar state of, “It is what it is”. No matter how hard i tried or how hard i wanted to believe I was better than what i was doing, nothing could pull me out of the pity and sadness i had for myself. I just wanted to give up and go back to where i was nine months ago. even though i was unhealthily overweight, at least I didn’t care as much.
I tried to find any source of motivation or any kind of reason to keep going forward with what i’ve been doing to reach my goal. But i just could find it. I centered my life around one thing and feeling that if i fail at one thing, i will continue to fail at all things.
It wasn’t until Monday morning when I got my motivation.
Since i break from Keto, I have gained back 5lbs. Logically, 5lbs isn’t a huge gain in weight. there were time where i dropped that in a couple days and then some. However, looking at the scale, I actually dawned on my that these 5 little pounds were 5 pounds that i worked very hard to lose and never see again. looking at the scale and being over 380 again made my heart sink. It was the first time in a long time where i looked at myself and said out loud, “what the fuck are you doing?” (sorry Gma for the language)
As much as I hated seeing these 5lbs, they have actually been a blessing for me. I has made me wake up from the slump i have been in. It made me want to revive my journey and become the person I know i can be.
I actually went grocery shopping for the first time in months and bought produce and healthy options to make actual lunches for work. I pre-made Breakfast and dinners so they are available to go when i need them. I actually and getting a plan together to go back to the gym and start working out again.
This Summer has sucked. But this Summer is behind me. The choices i make from hear on out are going to have to the best choices for me. I can’t let my personal feeling or the feelings of others tear me down anymore. I can’t live in the past of the last 10 months and think what if i did this or if i done this instead of that.
I can’t make people see the value in me that i want them to if i can’t see the value in myself.
This is a New Journey. It has to be a new beginning. It has to be a reset on my goals and life style change. Nothing comes easy, and i prefer the challenge that awaits me.
It’s a new week. It’s a new journey. It’s a new Travis.
Accountability and Progress