77 Days

Today marks the day where I officially continue my journey. 77 days ago was a great high and a great low for me. 77 days ago was one of the best days of my life, it was my 29th Birthday. As mentioned in a previouse post, it was the best birthday because of the people i got to spend it with and the moments we shared that i wouldn’t trade it for the world. But, it was also the first day where i stepped away from Keto and my diet all together.

Over the last 77 days i had a roller coaster of emotions and events that were both good and bad for me both personally and physically. I’ve shared the events is some previous post, so i don’t see the need to repeat them, but i will be honest about a couple of things.

First, why i stopped posting about my journey. I didn’t stop cause i wanted to take a break from it cause i felt overwhelmed with all the things going on in my life. The truth is, I love these post and i wish i was able to more of them and talk about more of them. I just didn’t want to post cause I couldn’t accept the fact that I constantly failed myself over and over and over again with even caring.

over the last couple months I have drank so much pop, ate so much junk food, and so much non-keto meals that I just felt like it’s pointless to post about cause i just didn’t care about accountability anymore. I just did not care about dieting, happiness, positivity, or progress anymore. I cant even think of anything I actually did care about. I just wanted to be. Go to work, Come home. Go to work, come home. Go to work, come home. I had so much more happiness being 28 than i have at 29. I just didn’t want to care.

Secondly, podcasting. Podcasting was pretty similar to these post. It’s not that i was overwhelmed, it’s not that i couldn’t juggle it. I just wasn’t happy. I knew that i couldn’t put out a good show if my heart wasn’t in it 100%. it wouldn’t be fair to my co-hosts, and wouldn’t be fair to you all.

Side note, if anybody thinks this is related to my change in relationship status or the person i was with, I will remind you of this…. this is not a reflection on her in anyway. my attitude over the the “break i took” was a reflection on me. In fact, she still pushed me to be a better person and stick to what i’m doing even if she didn’t have to. She doesn’t owe me a damn thing and didn’t have to give a shit about me anymore, but she still did and that makes her a better person than even me.

All things considered, I need to take the good with the bad. Yes, i failed my diet miserably. But, luckily, i haven’t gain any weight in this time frame. So Monday I’m starting a new with an old attitude. I’m jumping back into Keto 100% and working on that final 50lbs before the end of the year.

I pretty cool though how the first meal i had that end my first round of dieting is my last meal i will have before i start my second round. I will miss you Hibachi…. we had some good times.

Time to focus on me again. Time to stop with the wishful thinking and the hope for happiness and perfection. Life only happens when you make it happen.

Accountability and Progress

-Travis-T

 

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It doesn’t take 8 years, but one moment

I said on my Facebook that i was starting this journal again in August. I needed to take a break from this to get my head straight from a crappy couple months and try to gain back my focus. But, before i get back into my weight loss Journey, i feel that it’s best to be honest with all of you that have taken an interest in my life so far this year and explain where my head has been since my last post.

2018 started out to be an amazing year. Not only have I found a diet that works for me and has helped me lose weight I’ve been caring for years, but I was able to reconnect with someone special from my past. Some of you know who this person and some of you don’t. To be honest, at this point, it doesn’t matter who it is now who it is. But, I will tell you that she was the best thing to happen to me and the best thing for this journey.

When I sit and think about the last 7 months of this year, it has shown me alot of what kind of person I am. It showed me that I was still capable of caring for someone more than I ever thought possible; it also showed me that sometimes it’s possible too care too much.

I never really looked at what kind of person I was and why so many people see as a great guy and a good person… but I think that no matter how hard i try to be the same person to everyone, I unfortunately have failed at that. After my break from my last girlfriend 7 years ago I decided that the best way to live my life is to allow people in, but not to get to close. You are capable of controlling your emotions when you are able to cut people off without a second thought. It may be a shitty way to live, but it actually saved me from many many moments of self doubt and prevented me from questioning my own value.

In 2018 i decided that maybe it was time to let the walls down and finally let someone close again. And for the best 5 months of my life it was completely worth it. But, it not last like i was hoping. People’s feelings and priorities change and sometimes they make choices that were best for them. And I will admit that this is the best way to live your life.

This is where I’ve learned the type of person I am and why I lost someone close.

When it comes to old friends and people I’ve met over the last few years, I am a very out going, opinionated, kind of an asshole guy. I have always been the guy that is there with just a phone call (even though well know getting in touch with me is difficult). But sometimes there’s a part of me that comes out that I don’t really like too much. And I think i finally realized why my relationships end the way they do

When there are moments in my life that I do things for people or “be the hero” i feel they need, i get this idea that they owe me something. Not money or gifts or anything like that. But their time and their attention. I develop this attitude of “I do all this for you, but you won’t do this for me?” and I honestly never realized i did it until this passed Sunday. I pushed away one of the greatest people int he world just cause i felt that if i wasn’t their whole world, that there wouldn’t be room in their world for me. And she isn’t the first person I’ve done this to and looking back I have done this a lot.

People that are no longer in my life that were pushed away cause of my attitude or my reflection of what a friendship is all about is all on me. Yes, I know I am a great person to a lot of people cause I’ve treated them the right way. But the people closest to me I have not been the greatest person.

Now, before people worry about what I’m saying here, or what i post on Snapchat, or the distance I’ve shown over the last 2 months, let me tell you that i am ok. Yes, I’m sad and yes my diet has stalled out. But it isn’t because someone made a choice to walk out my life…. it’s because i pushed them out of my life. And that is something i will have to live with.

So, to that person that has changed my life over the last 6 months and to the person who showed me that i truly have worth in this world… Thank you. Thank you for being the most amazing impact in my life in such a short period of time. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be better to you.

And for the record, for those you feel it’s her lost or she doesn’t deserve me and blah, blah, blah; you’re wrong. She has done nothing but lived her life and still found time to make me happy. Truly, I don’t deserve her. And i hope that she finds her happiness with the people who truly deserve her. It may mean very little, but I will always be Your Travis.

Starting in August I’m making this Journal more than just about my Diet. This Journal is going to reflect and entire lifestyle change.

I’m going to focus back on my diet, but I’m going to work on fixing myself to find the old Travis.

People deserve Travis to be around for a long time…..but they deserve a Travis who is the best he can be. Both inside and out.

Accountability & Progress

-Travis-T

Not Goodbye, Just See You Later

Life isn’t always easy. Life isn’t always fair. Some people say that you get out of life what you put into it. And for the Most part I have to agree with it. Not because it makes sense, but because you need to believe that everything will work out in the end.

This is going to be my last post for awhile. I have spent over 6 months on this awesome journey that has been supported by some amazing people. People who i knew will be by side, and also people who surprisingly became a part of it. For all of you who have been here or read these and motivate me everyday, don’t think that your encouragement and motivation was a waste of time. My journey will still continue and i will hit my goals as the years goes on. But my heart just isn’t in this journal right now.

I’m not sure where my head is or where my heart is, but i know that they just aren’t where i want them to be. I know there will be a time when i will be back to writing and i will be back to let you all know how this journey is going, I just don’t know when that will be.

I encourage you all to keep moving forward with your individual journeys and never doubt that I’m here in your corner 100%.

Accountability and Progress

-Travis

The Journey Before the Journey

On January 2, 2018 I started this adventure to create a better lifestyle for myself. Decided that a change for my overall health needed to happen so that the world had Travis around for a long time. But this journey didn’t really start January 2, 2018. I have found success for the first time this year, but the idea of a journey started back in February of 2013.

I want to share something that may seem dumb or petty. alot of people will read this as me putting blame for my downfall onto someone else who is no longer in my life. That is not the case for this entry. The whole reason I created this journal is to share not only my triumphs through Keto and Dieting, but to share past experiences where weight has effected my life. If for some reason someone reads this and doesn’t agree, then I admire you for your perspective….but this is after all, my life.

In June of 2010 I weighed 310 pounds; nothing to do with the story really, just facts. In that month of that year I met a woman who I would share the next year and a half of my life with. She was the first real girlfriend I had since high school and the first person I felt comfortable with in a long time. she was an incredible person and showed me that there are people in this world who have the ability to be with someone by choice, not requirement.

With any relationship, this girlfriend came with a family that i looked at as my second family. As goofy and crazy as they were, they welcomed me with opened arms and treated me like i was the greatest person in the world. They also were Italian.

The reason i mentioned them being Italian because it was during this relationship where i gained 110lbs in a year and a half. Between the family outings to pizza places, ordering in from various restaurants, or even family cooked meals of pasta. This is where the weight gain began for me. Unfortunately I never realized how bad it got until it all ended.

Some people may agree, and some people may not, but becoming too comfortable in a relationship cause you to stop caring for yourself. I stopped going to the gym, never stepped on the scale, and never worried about the size of my clothes getting too small. I have an amazing girlfriend and I was happy. Nothing else really mattered. Again, until it all ended.

After our relationship end and I realized that i needed to get back out into the world to find that “one”, i started back at the gym again. February 2013 was the first time in over 2 years where I stood on a scale and realized what I have done to myself. This was not the first time in  my life that my weight left me deflated (if you recall my story about the Junior Football team when i was little). Instead of giving up then, I decided to do what I can to get back my life.

The started a chain of diets, workout programs, and personal trainers that all just seemed to fail. 5 years of constant commitment just lead to disappointment. Everything I tried just failed and everything that failed made me give up even more.

There was only one this that is different between then and now, and that has become my motivation to succeed. It’s not just the journal, and It’s not just the Keto… It’s accountabiltiy.

My life was a down a sinking ship that I could not get of. I have spent years blaming anything and everything i could so it wasn’t me that was a fault for my excessive weight gain. But finally after looking at my self in the mirror and realized that I could be a better me, it started to work. But this isn’t just for me to be around longer, this is for you all to have me around longer.

To my friends out there that had some part in this, i thank you.

Accountability and Progress

-Travis-T

 

My Birthday Recap

In my 29 years of life, I can recall a handful of birthdays. But, none of them compare to the one i had this past Saturday. I knew that my day was going to be special, but I was not prepared for what My Family and My Girlfriend had in store for me.

So, to start out, my birthday gift from my mom was very simple, all i wanted was to go shopping at Sam’s Club and to get things that I knew i needed, but couldn’t really afford to get. After that shopping trip, I felt that this was more than enough for a great birthday gift. But…. I really underestimated my mom. She not only bought me an Air Fryer (that I look forward to utilizing as much as possible) but she got me my antique chest that I’ve been wanting! To explain that, there was a bare wall in my living room that typically is the location for my Christmas Tree. But for 48 weeks out of the year, its just a bare spot in the living room. I thought if i could find some sort of chest that i could store stuff inside as well as put thing on top it would really bring the room together. Well, she found it and i’m beyond happy with it.

But nowadays, my life is blessed with another amazing woman that cares so much about me that she goes out of her way to make sure i’m happy. She not only got me the greatest birthday and a copy of Pocahontas and Pocahontas 2 (Yea, I’m a Disney Movie Fan) But she spent the entire day making my Keto Lemon Bars, Keto Brownies, and Keto Bread. Everything she made was absolutely amazing. Plus!!!! she surprised me by being at my house when i got off work!! This girl gives me a reason to smile everyday and what she does for me and my diet is beyond anything i could ever have imagined. Oh, and she got me balloons! How have I been so lucky to end up with such an amazing woman?!

After receiving all the amazing gifts, I got to finally have my cheat dinner and I picked Hibachi!!! Even though my mom did not agree with it, i did get double noodles. Not sure how they do it, but i was amazing!! Not only was the food great, but i got to spend my birthday with my mom, my girlfriend, my step-father, and my brother. I was great to laugh with my brother like we haven’t in so long.

My life is filled with amazing people who I owe the world to for showing me unconditional love.

However, my birthday is over. It’s time to jump back on Keto full force. I’ve dropped 60lbs… now to hit this next 60lbs by New Years.

Accountability and Progress.

-Travis-T

My Birthday Weekend

I made a goal when I started the Keto Diet back in January. My goal was to lose 100lbs by the time I turned 29. Unfortunately…… that did not happen. So I revamped my goal down to 60lbs and I am proud to say that I have achieved this goal!!!!  Even though my birthday isn’t for another 4 days (and i have more time to drop more weight) I am sitting here writing this post weighing 378lbs. Good Start to being 1 year older.

So I feel with it being my birthday, I feel like it is the perfect opportunity to enjoy some of the things that I have missed dearly during this journey. One of the biggest thing is my mom’s greatest gift she has given me every year for the last 5 years….. My Sandwich!!! I have been told that I need to stick to my diet no matter what, but the truth is, I feel that after 5 months of Dieting and Committing a Strong 85% of the time (I ain’t gonna lie that there has been certain negative food choices) I deserve at least My Sandwich & some kind of Birthday Cake.

Maybe some of you won’t agree with think belief cause you feel that i will spin out of control and drop into my same old bad habits and the last 5 months will be for nothing. If this was last year, three years ago, or even five years ago; I would agree 100%. But with the life I have now with the people I have now, Old Bad Habits are not an option anymore. I will enjoy my birthday with the delicious foods i like, but it will be within reason.

This Saturday will be my last meal. My last meal before i return to the Keto Lifestyle 100%. 60lbs in 5 months is good, but even more will be even better.

2018 is not over and neither is my journey.

Accountability and Progress

Better Than Chocolate

Do not worry all, I am still on my journey. It’s been some time since I posted… which is the exact opposite of my plan to post more, but really there hasn’t been any new updates in my journey as of now.

That is the one thing I love about the beginning of a diet, there so much to talk about cause there is so much going on. At the beginning the weight was just dropping off and the excitement was so much more. Recently it seem to drop off slower and slower as i progress. At first it felt like i ran my course with Keto and thought maybe it’s just not working anymore. But I know that, as i mentioned in a previous entry, any loss is good. Not every week is gonna be a game changing week. So the best thing for me to do is stick with what i’m doing and see this through until i reach my over all goal of 140-160lbs.

I started this thing hoping to lose 100lbs by the time i turned 29, but with my birthday being 14 days way and only being at 55lbs, I just don’t see this happening. But, to share a positive note, I have found out that there is a pair of pants that i haven’t been able to fit in that i am now able to fit in. so i’m gonna take that as an early birthday gift to myself.

Also, a couple of my friends have decided to start a journey of their own on Keto. i’m proud that they have chosen to make a life style change and wish them the best of luck and hope they see the results i have from this.

Oh, and if you were curious about the title of the post. My girlfriend always pushed me to stay accountable in making these posts. So, i old her i had a surprise for her (which is me posting without her telling me multiple times). We her response to me about telling her i have a surprise is “chocolate”. my response was simple.

“It’s Better Than Chocolate”

Surprise Darlin’. I can’t thank you enough for being my biggest supporter and always looking out for me. You do more for me than you need to and I couldn’t ask for a better person by my side. Thank you for being who you are without needing to. I am truly blessed.

Accountability and Progress.